The MILF Hypothesis

Now we all know what I’m talking about here; the whole young males wanting to hook up with older married women (demonstrated quite graphically in porn sites).

At first I thought it was a matter of taste, a personal fetish, a variable. But after thorough investigation, I found out that there seems to be a unanimity concerning the issue. Most guys I know have either experienced it (regardless of reality), or agreed that it was on their fantasy list.

So given the fact that it was a unanimous opinion, it seemed plausible to me that it had an evolutionary explanation, and indeed it does. What you are about to read is what I refer to as the biological version of Cosmopolitan.

If you ask guys to pin-point what it is that they find so luring about married women, or MILFs, or whatever, they usually attribute this appeal to three main points: experience, maturity, or financial support. Let’s dissect each one, shall we?

Experience: Now, this probably made sense back in the days when only married people had sex, but it hardly makes any sense nowadays when you have 13-year-old girls that can out-do married women (or rather, be out-done, get it?). Anyway, the point is, it no longer makes sense.

Maturity: This was also probably sensible back in the days where “grown woman” and “married woman” meant the same thing, basically because a woman who remained single after she was 25 was a social pariah. Things are different today, a woman can be mature regardless of her marital status.

Financial support: Before women were granted access to the workplace, the only way a woman could provide financial support to her lover was through her husband’s money. This has changed drastically and so again, this no longer applies today.

Having disproved all three points, I think it is safe to say that none of these reasons are the true causes behind our treated subject, maybe it’s time we make way for evolutionary analysis.

To analyze this from an evolutionary stand-point, you have to keep in mind that we are talking about primitive people, with primitive needs, at primitive times, and this of course is not something that men are aware of today, but a remnant of what was once an advantage for survival.

So the evolutionary version goes something like this:

Spreading your genes does not come without a price tag. After a male impregnates a female, he has to stick around and provide for his family, lest his offspring dies, taking the precious genes with it.

This of course requires a lot of time and energy. Time and energy that could be spent elsewhere, perhaps impregnating yet another female.

Now, what if you could find a way to spread your genes without having to invest so much resources into it? Instead you could go frolic about and increase your chances of producing offspring (something Genghis Khan knew very well). This can be achieved in two ways:

1-      You walk out on the female in search of the next. This however means you’re risking the survival of the child, but hey, all you’ve invested is cheap sperm, there’s billions of where that came from. So it’s worth a shot.

2-      You seek a married female: Basically, a married woman already has a care-taker and a provider. The fact that you can get her pregnant, and have someone else do all the providing is translated into the following word: Jackpot.

Genghis Khan aka "The player"

 

So in short, the alluring part about a married woman is her husband. (That’s right, homophobes)

I can’t stress this point enough: This is not something men are aware of; this is the remnant of what was once advantageous. I say “what was once advantageous” because, of course, with the wide use of contraceptives today, the advantage we speak of has been rendered obsolete.

So girls, new tip to getting him to fall for you: Get married.

More Bio-cosmopolitan coming, stay tuned!

 

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Author: Karen B.

Secular humanist biologist with an uncontrollable propensity for sarcasm. Spelling and grammar Nazi, self-taught Evolutionist (Radical), mastered in "Immunology: Molecular Biology and Cell Signaling" at the Doctoral School of the Lebanese University.

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